


I Wear My Grandpa's Clothes

by LadyIce



Series: How to Train Your Supreme Leader [7]
Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Crack, Attempt at Humor, Crack, F/M, Humor, Kylo and Hux antagonize each other, Rey is sick of Kylo's shit, Reylo - Freeform, star wars crack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-04
Updated: 2016-12-04
Packaged: 2018-09-06 12:47:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,560
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8752021
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyIce/pseuds/LadyIce
Summary: This based off of Kylo's rumored costume change for Episode VIII. Kylo has decided he needs to change up his look and it has caused a furor on the Finalizer. Hux doesn't appreciate the disruption and asks Rey to do something. Things go as well as expected. It's been a long time since I've updated this series so here we go.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Some background on this piece. This is Episode Seven of How to Train Your Supreme Leader. This is an AU that places Kylo Ren as the Supreme Leader of the First Order after the natural death of Snoke. Snoke has appointed Kylo as Supreme Leader on his deathbed, to the dismay of General Hux. Rey has left the Resistance to follow her heart to Kylo and they live together in their quarters on the First Order base. In this episode they have boarded the Finalizer for a mission. You can find the first six episodes of How to Train Your Supreme Leader at:
> 
> Episode 1: That Damn Ashtray  
> http://www.archiveofourown.org/works/6581023
> 
> Episode 2: Jabba's Pomegranate Breeze Wine Coolers  
> http://www.archiveofourown.org/works/6580930
> 
> Episode 3: The Granddaddy of All Tattoos  
> http://www.archiveofourown.org/works/6619450
> 
> Episode 4: Glory Be in the Bathroom! (NSFW)  
> http://archiveofourown.org/works/6651112
> 
> Episode 5: Going Solo (NSFW)  
> http://archiveofourown.org/works/6866029
> 
> Episode 6: First Kiss  
> http://archiveofourown.org/works/6916492

Rey opened the door to her shared quarters with Kylo Ren to find General Hux standing there, looking most displeased. To be fair, he looked displeased most of the time, but that was just the way he looked, like he smelled something unpleasant constantly. “General,” she said, a bit surprised. He rarely stopped by their private quarters and usually only did so when Kylo was there.

“Did you see your boyfriend,” he said the word with disdain, “before he left today?”

Rey grimaced. “Don’t call him that. And no, I didn’t see him before he left. He headed out fairly early and I wasn’t awake yet.”

“He’s decided on a,” Hux paused. “Costume change.”

Rey raised an eyebrow. “Costume?”

“Well, I don’t know what else you would call that….outfit he wears around here,” he sniffed. “But apparently he’s decided to change things up and looks more ridiculous than usual.”

“What has he done?” Rey sighed.

“He’s running around here in a cape.”

“He’s always had a cape of sorts,” Rey retorted.

“No, Rey. A full on, sweeping the floor cape,” Hux made a flourish with his hands.

“And what would you like me to do about it?”

“You seem to be the only one that can ever talk any sense into him. We can have the Supreme Leader running around looking like an idiot.” Hux smirked. “Any more so than usual anyhow.”

Rey snorted. “Your disapproval of his promotion by Snoke upon his deathbed is well noted, General.”

“I’ve adjusted,” Hux tugged on his gloves. “The First Order thrives on uniformity, consistency, something Ren is awful with and always has been. As Supreme Leader, this is a trait he needs to work on. It’s always been one of his weaknesses. This is causing too much discourse among the Stormtroopers and officers. Not to mention Phasma is upset. She thought she had the market cornered on capes.”

Rey’s shoulders slumped. “I’ll go talk to him. I mean, does he really look that bad?”

“I supposed it’s not... _ bad _ . It’s just different and the cape is just too much. He looks like…” Hux paused.

“Vader?” Rey suggested.

“Of course,” Hux sighed. “Without all the machinery and such.”

She shook her head. “I’ll talk to him but you know how he is. Any idea where he is?”

“He was heading for the bridge when I last saw him stomping around. I’ll leave you to locating him,” Hux turned on his heel and headed away from Rey, leaving her in the doorway of her quarters.

Following the destruction of Starkiller, the First Order retreated to their main base where Rey had joined them after deciding to follow her heart to Kylo and on a not so secret mission to drag him back to the Light. They had recently boarded the Finalizer for a mission that Rey wasn’t privy to the details to since she wasn't officially a member of the First Order. She sighed and headed towards the bridge, at least knowing Kylo wouldn’t be hard to find even if he wasn’t wearing something familiar.

He wasn’t hard to find at all, his Force signature glowing like a hot ember. His new cape billowed behind him, slightly dragging the ground. Rey walked up behind him and stomped on the hem of it, stopping him abruptly. “Hey, edgelord!” she shouted.

He quickly whipped around, pulling his lightsaber from his belt but not yet igniting it. “Rey!” he hissed. “Be careful! This thing is  _ vintage! _ ”

“Oh, Maker, it’s a Vader original, isn’t it?”

“Of course it is. Do you think I would wear some cheap replica?” Kylo scoffed. “Though I did have to have it altered. Grandfather was taller than I am, after his...modifications.”

“Where did you even get it?” Rey asked.

“I have my contacts. It’s well known that Kylo Ren pays very well for authentic Darth Vader memorabilia. Any reputable Empire artifact dealer knows how to contact me and knows better than to try and swindle me. It’s well known what happened to the last dealer that tried that. He’s no longer in business. Or alive.”

Rey rolled her eyes. “Did you just refer to yourself in third person? What are you doing, Kylo?”

“What do you mean?” he asked, straightening his cape from where she had knocked it askew from her stopping him in his tracks. He adjusted the chain that held it around his neck, making sure it was centered.

“What’s with...this?” she waved her hand up and down his frame.

“What? You don’t like it?” he brushed his hand over his shoulder. “I thought it was time for something different.”

“Phasma is the one that wears a cape around here. You know this.”

“Oh, that’s ridiculous. More than one of us can wear a cape. Hux never puts his arms through that stupid coat of his and it looks like a cape on him and she’s never said anything about that! If anything it’s bringing consistency to our look. It’s a new brand identity.”

“The First Order has a brand identity?”

Kylo put his lightsaber back on his belt. “Well, it should.”

“You have a Public Relations department for that.”

“We do?” Kylo adjusted his helmet.

“Yes, you do. Shouldn't you know this?”

“I don’t micromanage my organization,” Kylo said with a huff. “I leave that to Hux.”

“Kylo, you can’t run around here looking like this.” Rey crossed her arms.

“Like what?” Kylo crossed his arms over his new sleek tunic that replaced his old rough fabric.

“I don’t even know. Like, a Jedi in a Vader cape and mask!”

Kylo took a step back. “Jedis do not wear black.”

“Your uncle did!”

Kylo raised a finger to argue but then lowered it, “That...damn it. General Organa showed you that.”

“The First Order is built on uniformity,” Rey decided to use some of Hux’s logic. “When you change things, it causes dissention among the lower ranks.”

“People care about what I wear?” Kylo sounded skeptical.

“Apparently. It’s causing a loss of focus on the ship. Your cape is all anyone can talk about.”

At that moment, Captain Phasma walked by. She stopped, looked at Kylo from head to toe, saying nothing. She shrugged the shoulder that her cape covered and continued on silently, somehow giving him an icy stare that was felt through her helmet.

Rey held her hand out towards Phasma’s back. “See? She cares.”

Kylo scowled behind his mask. “This is stupid. I’m not part of the military unit of the First Order. I’ve never worn a uniform. Supreme Leader Snoke never had to deal with any nonsense like this.”

“Supreme Leader Snoke was a coward that hid behind his hologram and didn’t present himself to his subordinates!” Rey exclaimed. “You do and you’re a much more effective leader for it. Even if I don’t support your goals,” she glanced down at the floor and scuffed her foot.

He reached out and grazed her chin with his finger. “You think I’m a good leader?”

She reached up and grabbed his hand. “Don’t be cute. I’m tasked with telling you that you’re being a moof milker.”

“Wait, someone put you up to this?”

She sighed, realizing her misstep. “Yes. Hux asked me to speak with you. You’re causing discourse on his ship.”

“Well, why didn’t he just talk to me?” Kylo’s annoyance was rising in his voice.

“Your tendency to break things when he disagrees with you?” Rey suggested.

“I haven’t done that in,” he paused. “Eight days.”

“Quite a streak you’re on,” Rey deadpanned. “Come on. You need to change.”

Kylo huffed. “But I like my cape.”

Rey cocked her eyebrow. “I’ll help you out of it,” she said as she turned and walked off in the direction of their quarters.

In his haste to follow her, Kylo tripped over the hem of his cape and fell flat on the front of his helmet with a loud thud. Rey turned to find him splayed out on the floor. She shook her head and waited for him to gather himself. He slowly stood up and brushed himself off, looking around to see if anyone had seen him. Satisfied that his gaffe had gone unseen he said, “Shall we continue?” Unknown to him, several Stormtroopers in the security office were laughing their buckets off at the camera feed of him falling on his face.

Rey smiled at him. “Race you there?”

Kylo gathered up his cape as to not trip over it again. “I don’t think it’s very dignified for the Supreme Leader to be racing through the halls of the Finalizer.”

“See you there!” Rey took off at a sprint.

Kylo took off after her, not far behind. He almost collided with General Hux on his way there, shouting, “Look out, you ginger fuck!” on his way by.

“You’re doing nothing for our brand identity, you idiot!” Hux shouted back, not particularly surprised by the behavior of the Supreme Leader. He smirked and headed towards the bridge. At least Rey was getting him out of that cape. Then again, maybe it was time for him to look into that new white outfit he had seen some of the Empire officers had worn back in the day…they had capes. He adjusted his jacket that he never put his arms through the sleeves and continued on.


End file.
